THE MASCULINITY CONSPIRACY

04: Relationships cont’d

with 3 comments

Throughout DeAngelo’s text we see examples of how men need to take power and control over women and relationships. This very proactive strategy on the part of the conspiracy is normalized by suggesting it has been going on for countless years and that it is biologically determined, when in reality it is determined by the conspiracy. More worryingly, DeAngelo’s “seduction” agenda requires multiple sexual partners, which means he is casting his net of power as widely as possible, rather than within the confines of a monogamous relationship (which is bad enough). Note: I am not suggesting there is anything wrong with having multiple sexual partners, simply that there is something wrong with using those partners as a vehicle for exercising power, as demanded by the conspiracy.

It might be worth mentioning at this point that DeAngelo gives the impression that most women seem to appreciate his tactics, as demonstrated by his success as a seducer and the “honest” conversations he has with female friends with whom he shares his strategies. He’s being completely open about his needs and desires and not lying to anybody, so what’s the problem, right? The problem is that even if his partners give the impression they are ok with what he does, we must not forget that they too are under the influence of the conspiracy. Women are also conditioned in many instances to perpetuate the conspiracy, even if doing so seems a rather masochistic or counter-intuitive endeavor: it’s a bit like how abductees can develop sympathy towards their abductors. Such is the sophistication and deeply ingrained nature of the conspiracy.

So, in short, DeAngelo expects to find relationships with women where he can assert power and take control and who desire a man who does these things, and that’s exactly the type of women he finds. I would imagine the women who do not meet DeAngelo’s expectations are either never approached in the first place, or simply tell him to fuck off (even if DeAngelo suggests this is a surprisingly rare occurrence). Consequently, the conspiracy’s hunger for power is repeatedly sated and it simultaneously constructs the mythical image of sexually predatory men and sexually-cajoled women, rather than the more desirable situation of sexual relations that are equally filthy and fun but characterized by genuine mutuality.

CONTINUES >>>

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Written by Joseph Gelfer

December 14, 2010 at 3:26 pm

3 Responses

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  1. As a female who was constantly told a controlling male was best for me, I understand why women fall into this conspiracy too. We also want to be equals and not controlled objects, but fears of imagined evils of equality or lack of social status that is ascribed to the controlling males in that subculture are powerful erasers of common sense.

    prairienymph

    February 15, 2012 at 7:37 am

    • “Powerful erasers of common sense” is a good way to describe agents of the conspiracy.

      Joseph

      February 15, 2012 at 8:23 am

  2. “equally filthy and fun” – haha! love it!

    Also, I think that despite the ability of the the conspiracy to be a ‘self-fulfilling prophecy’, people always have agency. Personally, I find the idea of aspiring to be a “pick-up artist” or “ladies man” to be just about the most pathetically misguided life choice conceivable. Seeing this as successful male sexual behaviour is – in my opinion – like believing that Charlie Sheen is actually “winning”. But then perhaps this just a result of my own preference for depth over breadth in sexual experiences. For me the long-term relationship has always been the more exciting alternative, because it offers the potential for a truly profound sexual journey. Mine may not be the dominant perspective among members of my sex (I honestly don’t know), but I do know I am not alone in feeling the way I do. All of my close male friends (who are all generally “heterosexual”) are primarily interested in female partners that will be long-term equals, not transient objects.

    Mark

    October 19, 2011 at 8:00 pm


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